Santa Baby

I just received the electronic pics of Sydney which one of her favorite nurses had taken and printed and were left for us on her bed when she was discharged. They are too cute so just thought I'd share. She was discharged in her Santa suit and wore it on Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas 2007

Well, the gifts are all under the tree, stockings filled and sleeping baby and children are softly snoring in their beds. I have finally put the house into some small order (although only to have it completely anihialated only hours from now).

I am so grateful that Christmas is here and have never felt so fortunate for the family and friends in my life. I have been constantly surprised by people and the human experience in the past months. For things you'd expect that sometimes do not happen and then the people who step up for you in a way that you would never ask or expect.

I cannot wait to see the thrill on Savannah and Shelby's faces in the morning and see to Sydney as and when she rouses. Holding each of them in my arms the way they are each so unique in their looks, what they bring to my life, their affection and gratitude so appropriate to each of their little personalities.

I cannot wait to sit at our humble little dining table all crowded in together and be fortunate to have a table filled with food, both my parents to share with us as well as my sister. It reminds me to be mindful and think of my inlaws so far away and respect that every holiday we spend apart from them is so difficult for Cary whether he will ever admit it or not.

I have such a sense of peace and relief and am filled with optimism for a new beginning to restart and recharge in '08.

And then...

there were three.....three little girls, three little angels, three little pairs of hands to hold and cheeks to kiss.

On Wednesday 12/19/07 our family was united as we brought our baby girl Sydney home after 117 days in NICU.

Our gratitude has no words to the staff at Santa Monica UCLA Hospital as well as all of you who have supported us with prayer, food, love and gifts during these gruelling months.

As we prepared to leave the hospital, one of Sydney's champion nurses held my face in her hands and said to me, "my girl, this nightmare is over, today you are waking up and your beautiful life can begin. It is like it never happened, it was all just a bad dream." At first I couldn't believe her but I couldn't sleep last night during our first night together, I felt like it was a dream and I was afraid that if I went to sleep when I woke up I would be back to Tuesday.

My face hurts from smiling and I have an energy and peace that I can't remember having before. My baby is home, my children are together and for my husband and I, our life can now resume.

We thank each and every one of you for what you bring to our lives and for all of your support.

We truly understand the meaning of the word "Merry" in Merry Christmas and we hope you enjoy the same with your family and friends.

Rumor has it...

Sydney may be coming home soon...very soon. At the beginning of last week (I think it was the 9th) the (nurses and Dr. Davis) removed Sydney's feeding tube. This is a huge deal in the preemie world as it is one of the last steps before going home.

Sydney's challenge now is to try and remain calm during her refluxing and actually want to eat. After several challenging days they have finally put her on a four hour\at lib schedule which means she is fed every four hours or when she cues she is hungry, whichever comes first.

This weekend her homecoming was discussed at length during my visits to see her and for a time she was even going to come home on Monday the 17th!

After much consideration we decided to add a medicine to proactively help her with her refluxing thus putting off her discharge for a few days. She also got thrush in her mouth which has made drinking a bottle painful for her and breastfeeding is not an option as it is contagious. So we continue to patiently wait and the days are suddenly getting longer again.

I am in a state at the moment where every day is too long and each drive becomes more difficult but I know we are within days of her coming home and it is something worth every dreaded mile.

Her homecoming is filled with quite a few conditions such as multiple visits to the pediatrician and a buffet of mild medications which she will need such as caffeine and fermotodine (pepcid) still I cannot wait for the day to come when I am awake in the middle of the night by my sweet baby's cry rather than waking to wonder what she is doing and if she is okay. I will then think of my friends April, Clare, Katherine, Laurie, Emi, Joann and Carrie and wonder if they too are feeding and changing their newborns.

In the meantime I will continue to care for, read to, dress, feed and taxi Shelby and Savannah as they finish their last week of school before the Christmas holiday break. Savannah also finishing golf, drawing lessons two dress rehearsals and a winter sing program all in one week! Perhaps its not such a bad thing Sydney has to wait a few more days....yikes....!

In a sense all three girls will be arriving home together for two weeks of togetherness. Bring on the arts and crafts, walks to the park and the ever reliable Disney movies :)

PS Did I mention that Sydney's new crib has not yet arrived nor have I taken the car seat out of the box yet... and there are those gifts that still need to be wrapped.....

Busy busy busy

I can't believe how time continues to fly by at an alarming rate. Hours and days going by in such a blur.

This past week was filled with errands, running after one girl or another, a fabulous evening out with some girlfriends at the Marmalade Cafe, an infant CPR class on Saturday and a great Christmas party on Saturday night.

All the while I realize I have not gotten a thing done towards Christmas. I know just about everything is here but finding it, organizing it and wrapping it will be another feat entirely.

Sweet Treat

Today was a sweet treat. On my morning visit to Sydney they (nurses) informed me that they would be taking of her oxygen cannula so she would be back to just the feeding tube. While I sat visiting with her they took the cannula off and then realized that I had never seen Sydney without any tubes obstructing her face. So they took off her feeding tube as well and I tearfully got to enjoy my visit with my youngest daughter....covering her cheeks with as many kisses as I could. After all she is a chubby six pounds now and every ounce of her is scrumptious!

By the afternoon they needed to reinsert her feeding tube but she has been able to stay off the oxygen so hopefully they will not need to put it back on again.

In the afternoon we (Savannah, Shelby and I) enjoyed an afternoon at Katelyn's birthday party complete with bouncy castle and face painting which they thoroughly enjoyed.

In the evening it was off to Santa Monica with Dad to enjoy some main street strolling on a beautiful California night. We walked along the shops which offer complimentary snacks and beverages. The kids had so much fun with our friends the Petrilles and the Pauls.