Fantasy versus Reality

I have just had the most amazing opportunity bestowed to me and my husband Cary by our family. My mother blessed us with peace of mind to look after our children while we went away, meanwhile my beloved sister with the help of her friend made it possible for us to get all the way to Cape Town, South Africa, otherwise this would have never happened.


It was eight months or more in the planning. Would it work, wouldn't it work? Would all the elements come together for us to actually go all the way from Los Angeles to Cape Town? Well the answer is yes. And boy did it work. Just prior to the trip not even a blown up fridge, a stolen car and an impending cabin crew strike could deter us from continuing ahead with our plans. It was meant to be.

We set off from Los Angeles and went through London with something of a Motley Crew in tow. An OCD mechanic, an overstressed working mother of three, a bohemian manager, an efficient agent, a happy go lucky (except in the morning) call center supervisor. In London we collected an Internet Entrepeneur and a smiley, sunny plastic surgeon and off to Cape Town we went. All equally ready for a sunny vacation.

The fantasy was to arrive to glorious weather, a beach front accommodation adjacent to a potentially finished hotel. What we arrived to was a one hour car hire process, followed by a 15 minute walk with luggage to collect the car. Upon arriving at said accommodation, while the view was everything we had hoped and dreamed, the reality was that the adjacent construction site (clearly not even halfway done) was a bit of a let down. But regardless, we were in Cape Town and about to see our family after 5 long years.

In the fantasy we would timely surprise each family member individually with tears and laughter. The reality was that after 40 minutes of traffic and driving by the house, to find mother in law and niece in the driveway, we were just relieved to get out the car.

Surprised, she was. Women are always naturally more emotional than men but to see my mother in law running in a circle on the front lawn was quite something.

In the fantasy, my father in law would come home from work to find us in the lounge and be excited to see us. The reality was that Cary walked in on him stark naked in the shower and for the next 20 minutes he retreated in and out of his bedroom in some type of delayed state of shock.

The laughter and tears we receive from Cary's brother and sister-in-law are always what we are hoping for. As we have become adults I think the four of us understand the challenges we face as young married couples and parents and I believe they truly comprehend and appreciated when they realized we had come all the way to see them, what it means and what it takes to leave our children.

Meeting our nieces Hannah and Emma was a joy I can only compare closely with the love I have for my own children. To see my daughters blood relatives and appreciate their differences and similarities is something that was worth every mile travelled. Here the reality far surpassed the fantasy.

So after the surprises were over, what else do you do in South Africa except light a fire and have a braai. Lucky for us, Chad had already started this process when he had been called to his mothers house to fictitiously pick up Emma.

And so we began to Braai and the wine, beer, vodka and brandy flowed. Our crew were extremely patient and understanding, enduring hours of high decibal yelling as the Keown and Abrahamse family were clearly together and loud is their middle name.

In the fantasy, we will have a great time, get home, sleep in the next morning and venture off somewhere. The reality was that while we managed to rally to the waterfront, Cary played it safe, stayed home and nursed his bad hangover. There I knew the reality was he was never going anywhere the next day.... to be continued.....

So here I am...

in the very cool OneWorld lounge at LAX airport seriously wondering what on earth to do with myself. I am about to head off on a much needed vacation and while I am headed to family overseas, I do believe there will be ample opportunity for me to get some rest as well as have some quiet time to think, read or whatever it is I used to do before my gorgeous girls came along. I promised myself if nothing else that I would take the opportunity to update my blog. It is absolutely ridiculous that my last post was on May 31st! 6 months with nothing!!!! I know I've been busy but even I'm apalled.

I so often think about it (the blog that is) and how it is my favorite way to express myself. For me it is both a release of emotion and a form of therapy (which I guess are kind of the same thing) but at any rate something I really need to do for myself more often. That and the fact that I am always surprised that my friends actually read it and find some small entertainment from it.

The trip I am going on came about in sort of a strange series of circumstances. I was reading "The Other Boleyn Girl" for my book club and simultaneously Nadia was talking about her plans of her trip to England and how she was going to visit my Aunt, cousins and her best friend Penny. For whatever reason one morning I woke up with a feeling like I had a huge weight on my chest. Like I couldn't breath. There was absolutely nothing wrong I just had such a strong feeling that I wanted to get away. Not escape entirely just a really needed break.... It really hit me that I have been going to England since I was 2 and have made at least probably 20 trips in the last 33 years since then but can count on one hand how many things I have actually seen. Reading that book and its description of the castles and different places in the country helped me realize there was so much I haven't seen really with my eyes open as an adult so I could appreciate it.

I love my husband, I love my children but somewhere along the line while trying to conquer my little universe "with an S on my chest" as Alicia Keys puts it, I realize sometimes that I never really feel looked after. Don't get me wrong. I completely appreciate all that my Mom does for me, without whom I would barely just be on survival mode. And Cary has his moments of helpfulness when he's in the mood but I think as wives and mothers we take on these additional identities and somewhere along the line forget who we are and where we were going in our lives.

I can't honestly tell you what my favorite song is or movie or book because so much of the little spare time I have is discussing these things with my girls. I can tell you Miley Cyrus' latest hit or the words to the book "I ain't gonna paint no more" but I couldn't even tell you who the star of the movie was that I saw a month ago because I don't remember.

I always knew or perhaps I assumed I would be a mother. It just wasn't something I ever really thought about. I do think sometimes I should have given it a little more planning and forethought as I was pretty young by today's standards....in the US anyway. I am so grateful that until my last pregnancy I didn't have any major health issues but I worry if I was a good mother when I was younger as there was so much I was still trying to figure out myself.

I'm not complaining by any means, it just all is a bit overwhelming sometimes. I fear that instead of being the jack of all trades I am the master of none. I do believe however that with a big deep breath and some much needed time off not to mention some alone girlie time with my sister will do the trick and it will be interesting to see if and how my perspective changes over the next few days. Hopefully I'll have the time and the means to update this and keep you posted....if anyone out there is reading this.

For now I am going to enjoy myself, relax and partake in all the fineries this lounge has to offer.

Highly recommended...

Two nights away with just your husband to talk, sleep in, read, stay up late, heck even going to the local store is fun, put makeup on (completely), leave where you are staying fully dressed including accessories and hair done, enjoy time with friends, eat, drink and silently wonder what your kids are doing all the while being able to relax, appreciate them from a distance and even miss them a little by the time you head back to them:)

HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED:

Enjoy reading book club book in lounge chair by jacuzzi in overcast weather while you are actually burning to a crisp. The red hue of my skin is not my camera or the fact that I'm tipsy, its a burn people, an idiot burn at that. Fortunately it only hurt for a day and has pretty much already gone. Ay yi yi. The benefit of having so many children is you always leave the house prepared for just about anything.

Happy Easter

Seriously people where is the time going. How was it Easter already. I know I'm busy when I'm at home but my goodness I can't believe how the days and weeks are just flying. The girls are doing so well each individually as well as us as a family. I could not be happier and the memories of the last months of last year seem distant and hard to remember. Here are our gorgeous girlies...

Thanks for the super cute outfits Nana!

Sydney was 7 months old on Monday