5/3/2016

Our Dearest Savannah

Today is your 16^th Birthday and your Dad and I wanted to take a few minutes to remind you what an amazing young woman you are.  We are in awe of how much we have experienced together as a family and how much you have changed our lives in these very fast 16 years.

While you are on the brink of adulthood today, we wanted to take a few minutes to look back and remind you of all the things we treasure about you.

We remember how surprised we were when we learned we were pregnant with you and all the wonders and worries of becoming first time parents.  We remember the night you were born and how chaotic things seemed for a minute as we wanted to make sure you arrived safely. 

I remember when I finally got to hold you for the first time and truly be alone with you.  You opened your eyes and looked into my soul and I knew you were probably one of the wisest people I had ever met.  On that night 16 years ago you gave us the new titles of Mom and Dad and we had never been so happy and so scared all at the same time.

By day you were an absolute joy as a baby with your perfect round, bald head, big brown eyes and sweet chubby cheeks.  I remember it taking forever to go to the store or run errands for all the people who would stop to greet you. 

By night you made sure your Dad knew who was now in charge as he walked around our little apartment endlessly trying to get you to stop crying.  Turns out you just loved to cuddle and cuddle we did for nearly two years until you finally made it to your own bed.

As a toddler you were so precocious and sweet.  You engaged with anyone and everyone that came your way.  You looked at everything with wonder and curiosity and you made everyone around you feel loved. 

By age three you had discovered music and had a natural rhythm and would dance pretty much anywhere and everywhere you could. 

You became a big sister for the first time and I could not have asked for a gentler, sweeter child for us to enjoy our new baby with.  You never complained and were always helpful and kind to her.  Shelby adored you from day one and while there are days at the moment that may not feel like it, that bond is forever and I know will carry you two in the future.

In the first grade you had discovered fashion and were always so complimentary to others.  I remember adults commenting, “Well if Savannah liked it, I must be looking pretty good today.”

Then after years of turning pages, you fell in love with books.  Your talent for reading was like nothing we had ever seen.  You could not read them fast enough yet knew every detail there was to enjoy on each page.  We envy this skill of yours and truly believe it will take you far in life.

Not long after you became a big sister once more and took everything in stride.  During a time that was filled with so many emotions for our family you continued being your sweet self, even as you navigated your own challenges.  Sydney truly looks up to you and we treasure the moments we see you taking care of her.

Above all this, what we love about you Savannah is that you are so smart and witty, you are sympathetic and caring, you are a daydreamer with a huge imagination and a hopeless romantic.  We are so proud of how brave you are when you take the stage and own each character you play. 

We think you are growing up into a wonderful young woman.  We are so proud to say we are your parents.  Yes we would like you to clean up your room and help around the house more but at the end of the day we know you are a good kid who means well.

These preteen and early teen years have had some highs and a few lows but you are always open to learning from your mistakes.  You keep an open mind and an open heart and listen to what we have to say.

In the blink of an eye you will be making decisions about your future and whichever road you choose and wherever your path may take you, always know that we will be here for you.  No matter what you will always be our baby.  We love you more than we can ever explain and can’t wait to see what the future holds. 

Happy 16^th Birthday Savannah

We love you!

Mom and Dad

Fantasy versus Reality

I have just had the most amazing opportunity bestowed to me and my husband Cary by our family. My mother blessed us with peace of mind to look after our children while we went away, meanwhile my beloved sister with the help of her friend made it possible for us to get all the way to Cape Town, South Africa, otherwise this would have never happened.


It was eight months or more in the planning. Would it work, wouldn't it work? Would all the elements come together for us to actually go all the way from Los Angeles to Cape Town? Well the answer is yes. And boy did it work. Just prior to the trip not even a blown up fridge, a stolen car and an impending cabin crew strike could deter us from continuing ahead with our plans. It was meant to be.

We set off from Los Angeles and went through London with something of a Motley Crew in tow. An OCD mechanic, an overstressed working mother of three, a bohemian manager, an efficient agent, a happy go lucky (except in the morning) call center supervisor. In London we collected an Internet Entrepeneur and a smiley, sunny plastic surgeon and off to Cape Town we went. All equally ready for a sunny vacation.

The fantasy was to arrive to glorious weather, a beach front accommodation adjacent to a potentially finished hotel. What we arrived to was a one hour car hire process, followed by a 15 minute walk with luggage to collect the car. Upon arriving at said accommodation, while the view was everything we had hoped and dreamed, the reality was that the adjacent construction site (clearly not even halfway done) was a bit of a let down. But regardless, we were in Cape Town and about to see our family after 5 long years.

In the fantasy we would timely surprise each family member individually with tears and laughter. The reality was that after 40 minutes of traffic and driving by the house, to find mother in law and niece in the driveway, we were just relieved to get out the car.

Surprised, she was. Women are always naturally more emotional than men but to see my mother in law running in a circle on the front lawn was quite something.

In the fantasy, my father in law would come home from work to find us in the lounge and be excited to see us. The reality was that Cary walked in on him stark naked in the shower and for the next 20 minutes he retreated in and out of his bedroom in some type of delayed state of shock.

The laughter and tears we receive from Cary's brother and sister-in-law are always what we are hoping for. As we have become adults I think the four of us understand the challenges we face as young married couples and parents and I believe they truly comprehend and appreciated when they realized we had come all the way to see them, what it means and what it takes to leave our children.

Meeting our nieces Hannah and Emma was a joy I can only compare closely with the love I have for my own children. To see my daughters blood relatives and appreciate their differences and similarities is something that was worth every mile travelled. Here the reality far surpassed the fantasy.

So after the surprises were over, what else do you do in South Africa except light a fire and have a braai. Lucky for us, Chad had already started this process when he had been called to his mothers house to fictitiously pick up Emma.

And so we began to Braai and the wine, beer, vodka and brandy flowed. Our crew were extremely patient and understanding, enduring hours of high decibal yelling as the Keown and Abrahamse family were clearly together and loud is their middle name.

In the fantasy, we will have a great time, get home, sleep in the next morning and venture off somewhere. The reality was that while we managed to rally to the waterfront, Cary played it safe, stayed home and nursed his bad hangover. There I knew the reality was he was never going anywhere the next day.... to be continued.....

Happy Thanksgiving....

In the chaos of this great holiday sometimes its difficult to slow down enough to reflect on what we are most grateful for. Fortunately I am blessed to not have to participate in any cullinary olympics today so I thought I'd take the extra few minutes I have to reflect what I am grateful for...

The obvious are my family, near and far, (Joanna, Auntie Katie and Auntie Jac:))close and distant.

My beautiful three daughters who continue to amaze me every day as they transform into their own personalities and individual beings.

My husband who is a great friend of mine who is reaching way outside his comfort zone to discover ....well many things.

My mother who is my rock and mainstay. Most people would think that is your husband but for me it is my Mom and Cary understands this too. She is always reassuring in times of stress and picks up when she knows I can't go forward. While she is very sensitive she is so strong and our lives would not be the same if we hadn't had these years with her. I love you Mom.

My beautiful, intelligent and sweet sister. She is an amazing woman with so much talent, beauty and charm, she just doesn't always know it. She is a wonderful Aunt to our girls and the best friend I have always needed.

My sweet girlfriends near and far who bring such an ecclectic wonder to my life. Carrie, Kara, Veronica, Lisa, Wendy, Amy, Clare, April, Janene, Silvia, Jenny, Michele, Petrea, Heather and my guardian angel Sarah....who will never know what you mean to me. Thanks for always listening when I need you and for making me laugh. You are each the sprinkles on my cupcake of life.

Then there are the physical things I am grateful for. I know it may sound weird but we really don't know how good we have it. Here is my laundry list of those mundane items that help so much:

I'm grateful to the Speers, Lyons and Matthes families for this beautiful home we live in.

My DVR which allows me to be a good mom and watch tv when\if I have time.

My iPhone that I would be lost without. So much entertainment at the palm of my hand :)

My computers. The comfortable mattress on my bed. My mineral powder which I really think may be a coping mechanism haha.

Facebook, Yahoo Messenger, Email and the wonder of the digital camera. The world really isn't that big after all and these technologies help us stay close.

Modern medicine and the continued wonder and respect I have for the fact that my daughter is with us, healthy and happy (currently sitting across the room enjoying the sound of tearing pages of the new tabloid magazine I have not yet read!!!). That same technology which is keeping the precious baby Paul in his momma's belly as long as possible.

The progress of cancer treatment and how it was able to save my Evil Knievil Daddy who at the age of 71 after 6 months of chemotherapy decided to ride his motorbike to the Florida keys and back to see how far it was. That same technology which has saved my friend Gaia so she can mother her sweet babes and how I know it will save my new friend T as she begins her fight and conquers her cancer just so she can continue to kick my butt into shape.

For all of these things I am grateful to God. Lord I am so grateful for my choices I get to make every day and that I don't know what it is to go very hungry or cold.

Happy Thanksgiving.

A Proud Moment...

Savannah, where do I begin to tell you how proud I am of you and what a privilege it is to be your mom. I hope as you grow older you will look back fondly at your childhood and see it as a happy time.

The truth is you have faced some pretty big obstacles in the past year or two (well we have as a family) but I feel like you have had to be almost the most resillient of everyone by changing schools, changing addresses and while you voice your concerns you never complain or refuse to do it.

Case in point of last night. Your Dad and I received a letter several weeks ago to let us know that there is a strong possibility that you may not get to attend the school we had in mind for you to complete fourth and fifth grade due to space availability. We thought that to assist you with the transition of changing schools it would be a good idea for you to go back to the place where you attended Kindergarten and First Grade.

We were so concerned at how you would react and feeling stressed ourselves at the prospect of asking you to make yet another change in your little life because of choices that we make for us as a family unit.

So now that the time is near for schools to resume session, we casually broached the subject last night at dinner. We explained to you that we received a letter and that while you will be attending the school district we had in mind, it might be at a different school location that only has 3rd, 4th and 5th grade but that we would know by the end of the week.

While initially I thought I saw the smallest amount of fear in your eyes, to our shock, surprise, delight and slight confusion, your response was this:

"Hmmm, well would it be okay if, once we find out, I can choose for myself? I kind of like the idea of going to a school with less grades and less people."

Your Dad and I were somewhat stunned and so we said sure you will get to decide. Our preference of course would be to have you and your sister on the same campus, however, how can we question your choices when you receive information so openly and willingly.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out in the end. We love you Savannah and are just so so proud of you.

Sydney Bean!

Sydney, why can't you stay this little forever, and love me this much for always? I love you my sweet and can't believe how far you've come, how much you've accomplished and how you remind me to live in the moment. I cannot believe in just three days you will be the tender age of 2!

And by the way, just for the record, you are a very willfull two, all fight and minimal cooperation :)

PS This picture was taken at Auntie V's Luau after you had been in the pool for way too long. You protested getting out even though you were three shades of blue! 8/8/09

I'm grateful for...

My beautiful family and how they make me smile even when they're sleeping...

My girlfriend Veronica and how she thinks of me, passes me her hand me down clothes and I feel like a million bucks in them...

My Wish list...

I wish I could get it together to scrapbook to document my daughters events and the precious memories I have with them.

HOW ON EARTH?

Did I get to the middle of August and this is the first time I am posting this year? Shocking and unexcusable!

I couldn't tell you what I have done with all of this time but this year more than any other before has been at a breakneck pace. Definitely going to aim for a low key, stop and smell the roses kind of year next year...... in the meantime however warp speed continues.

What I now know....

So I had hoped to find the quality time that I have been craving to blog and read and such and while I have done this a little I have also really enjoyed my time away to relax, socialize and just do whatever I like. From this week away I have realized a few things...namely (in no particular order):

• I like being and could imagine myself living in a cold climate.
• Am truly English at heart and am one of the few people that love English food.
• My baby sister will always be my baby and all that goes with that dynamic (she still steals my hairbrush and likes to sit in the front seat so she doesn't get car sick...)
• I love my extended family very much. They are my people and I am most comfortable when I am with them. They remind me that I am not weird or quirky and that I am part of something.
• My extended family does help me appreciate my immediate family and realize that everyone has problems big and small just in different context.
• I am addicted to Steak pies.
• I have self control when it comes to eating, shopping and other things and it is up to me to exercise at my discretion.
• Its okay not to miss my kids because they are totally fine and the little I take for me gives me more to give to them.
• I have had a really shitty year that is now behind me but that I didn't acknowledge at the time.
• I need to reclaim myself as the master of my destiny and get back in the driver's seat.
• I appreciate a dry sense of humor and am sure I have annoyed people by laughing a lot this week. Even at the expense of a dead cat named bubbles.
• My sister is truly one of my best friends and a gift I treasure.
• I enjoy hanging out in a quiet space as much as trapesing through London and in equal proportion.
• Living in the US gives one a jaded sense of safety as the world is a really scary space.
• There are a lot of people out there that need help of all different kinds.
• Its so nice to begin and end a thought without interruption.

So here I am...

in the very cool OneWorld lounge at LAX airport seriously wondering what on earth to do with myself. I am about to head off on a much needed vacation and while I am headed to family overseas, I do believe there will be ample opportunity for me to get some rest as well as have some quiet time to think, read or whatever it is I used to do before my gorgeous girls came along. I promised myself if nothing else that I would take the opportunity to update my blog. It is absolutely ridiculous that my last post was on May 31st! 6 months with nothing!!!! I know I've been busy but even I'm apalled.

I so often think about it (the blog that is) and how it is my favorite way to express myself. For me it is both a release of emotion and a form of therapy (which I guess are kind of the same thing) but at any rate something I really need to do for myself more often. That and the fact that I am always surprised that my friends actually read it and find some small entertainment from it.

The trip I am going on came about in sort of a strange series of circumstances. I was reading "The Other Boleyn Girl" for my book club and simultaneously Nadia was talking about her plans of her trip to England and how she was going to visit my Aunt, cousins and her best friend Penny. For whatever reason one morning I woke up with a feeling like I had a huge weight on my chest. Like I couldn't breath. There was absolutely nothing wrong I just had such a strong feeling that I wanted to get away. Not escape entirely just a really needed break.... It really hit me that I have been going to England since I was 2 and have made at least probably 20 trips in the last 33 years since then but can count on one hand how many things I have actually seen. Reading that book and its description of the castles and different places in the country helped me realize there was so much I haven't seen really with my eyes open as an adult so I could appreciate it.

I love my husband, I love my children but somewhere along the line while trying to conquer my little universe "with an S on my chest" as Alicia Keys puts it, I realize sometimes that I never really feel looked after. Don't get me wrong. I completely appreciate all that my Mom does for me, without whom I would barely just be on survival mode. And Cary has his moments of helpfulness when he's in the mood but I think as wives and mothers we take on these additional identities and somewhere along the line forget who we are and where we were going in our lives.

I can't honestly tell you what my favorite song is or movie or book because so much of the little spare time I have is discussing these things with my girls. I can tell you Miley Cyrus' latest hit or the words to the book "I ain't gonna paint no more" but I couldn't even tell you who the star of the movie was that I saw a month ago because I don't remember.

I always knew or perhaps I assumed I would be a mother. It just wasn't something I ever really thought about. I do think sometimes I should have given it a little more planning and forethought as I was pretty young by today's standards....in the US anyway. I am so grateful that until my last pregnancy I didn't have any major health issues but I worry if I was a good mother when I was younger as there was so much I was still trying to figure out myself.

I'm not complaining by any means, it just all is a bit overwhelming sometimes. I fear that instead of being the jack of all trades I am the master of none. I do believe however that with a big deep breath and some much needed time off not to mention some alone girlie time with my sister will do the trick and it will be interesting to see if and how my perspective changes over the next few days. Hopefully I'll have the time and the means to update this and keep you posted....if anyone out there is reading this.

For now I am going to enjoy myself, relax and partake in all the fineries this lounge has to offer.

Sex and the City

So while my backlog blogging needs some serious work, I couldn't miss the opportuntiy to dish about the Sex and the City movie. Yes I participated in one of the zillions of girls nights out going on across America at the moment and I had to say I had such a lovely time.

The evening was arranged by my girlfriend "V" and while she was the only girl I am close to, I most of the others and it also gave me a chance to meet some new faces that work at Mattel who I had always wondered about.

We started off at PF Changs for martinis and a yummy dinner. I was the first to arrive and after sending back their very berry martini I settled on something called a Lucky Cat which is basically vodka, pineapple juice and Chambord, yum!

Everyone arrived at different times and after my Lucky Cat and another Apple Martini and the scrumptious honey shrimp, I was rather relaxed and enjoying myself. Veronica was ever so sweet and surprised us each with our very own black SATC gift back complete with shocking pink tissue paper, would you believe a designer cookie with an image of the four gals onto a sugar cookie with frosting, a cd of the movie soundtrack and a lollipop, just in case. So cute and it was very cool to see the other large tables of women spying on us with envy:)

Joelle and I went over to start lining up just before seven for the 8pm showing. It was one of those things that in some small way you were kind of excited to be a part of. Its not like we were working on world peace or anything but I really enjoyed seeing this extremely wide variety of women of all ages, races, marital status, some pregnant, weights and cultures come together with the same girlfriend bond.

It was really fun to watch the movie and obvious we weren't the only gals who had had a few martinis but it was one of those things where a funny part was even funnier by everyone laughing. Just a really good time.

For the movie itself I loved it. I am not a picky movie critic by any stretch of the imagination but I felt that it had the right balance of hapiness and sadness and I felt like it had some very realistic parts and sometimes everything isn't perfect and that's okay. I think there was something in it for everyone, regardless of your age or marital status etc. The only two things that bothered me ever so slightly was I would have liked to see a little bit more of Charlotte's home life with her husband and a little less of Jennifer Hudson. Louise was a cute character don't get me wrong but I just wanted Carrie to spend more time with her girlfriends but then again isn't that life? The other is that I wanted Charlotte to either just adopt another little baby or be okay with what she had. I was happy for her and all but I always think of my friends who try endlessly to fall pregnant and sometimes things just don't work out that way that they become a mom another way. I just felt that to give Charlotte everything including a pregnancy was a little over the top.

Anyway, I had an awesome time and it was one of those female experiences that need not be shared with men. They don't get it and I doubt they ever will.... and sometimes that's just fine too. Perhaps in some way some good secrets are just better kept:)

Backlog Blogging

So I am finally updating my blog but will be filing them in back log based on the months or weeks of when these things happened. Its not that I don't want to blog but as I shared with a friend yesterday, I have all these thoughts and stories in my head however getting the uninterrupted time to actually type them out is a whole nother story. For now it is 7:40am and I have been up since six, fed my baby, had some coffee, caught up on an episode of Desperate Housewives from over a week ago. Now my two older daughters have joined us and are watching a program that is keeping them somewhat entertained while my baby girl Sydney has most likely filled her diaper and fallen asleep being the sweet little angel she is. I am going to capitalize on this time and while I don't like the idea of dirty diapers, I have to get some typing done otherwise I will never remember what it was I had intended to say for the last six weeks.

No sooner have I typed the above, the two older girls have started a debate on what they would like to watch and baby is now awake so I must change her :)

Hopefully I shall return!!!

Oh and shall I mention that my husband is fast asleep oblivious to all of this!

Auntie Katie

I wanted to make sure I didn't leave the month of April (yes people I know its mid-May as I write this) but on my blog I wanted to make sure I didn't leave the month of April without mentioning someone special to me who we call Auntie Katie.

Auntie Katie is one of those fairy godmothers that I hope every woman has on some level in their life. She came to me at birth when my mother needed a sure hand as she waivered in her confidence as a new mom. Auntie Katie was my first and only Nanny and someone who has been a constant in my life no matter where I lived or what has happened.

Now as an adult with my own children my appreciation for her is at an alltime high. You see Auntie Katie has cared for hundreds of people, be it children that she nannied since her twenties or the HIV victims she nursed in the eighties and nineties. She seems to care for everyone who crosses her path although I always feel the bond between her and I is more unique and special than most.

For whatever reason she was not able to be a natural mother herself but I'd like to believe its because she is a mom to so many most of all her little dog Lucky. She has now retired in Sarasota, Florida but of course she volunteers to take care of babies of unwed mothers who go to school.

She has the greatest sense of humor, a fabulous newcastle accent and one of the most infectious laughs you can imagine. She even resembles my own Mom and people have mistaken them before thinking just one had changed their hairstyle. I will say she's probably a bit more lenient than my Mom in some things but you wouldn't want to step out of line as she has the same no nonsense attitude expected of any upstanding British Nanny :)

Most recently my Mom needed a much needed vacation to England before she took on our three daughters full time. Without hesitation Auntie Katie made the sacrifice of her time to come all the way from Florida to stay with us and take care of our three girls. She bonded with each one so incredibly and I think on some level Sydney is still wondering where she is.

I am so grateful to have Auntie Katie in my life and this little blurb was to help remind her that. I keep this blog as a diary to my own children so that they will understand my emotions, our life's little trials and quandries but to also understand how much people like Auntie Katie mean to me.

Thoughts are one thing but sometimes I think writing them out or making sure you express them in some way is equally important. How will others know how you truly feel unless you tell them...make sure they listen or better yet read :)

I love you Auntie Katie, you really mean the world to me and if there is ever anything you need from me you know I am here for you.

Highly recommended...

Two nights away with just your husband to talk, sleep in, read, stay up late, heck even going to the local store is fun, put makeup on (completely), leave where you are staying fully dressed including accessories and hair done, enjoy time with friends, eat, drink and silently wonder what your kids are doing all the while being able to relax, appreciate them from a distance and even miss them a little by the time you head back to them:)

HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED:

Enjoy reading book club book in lounge chair by jacuzzi in overcast weather while you are actually burning to a crisp. The red hue of my skin is not my camera or the fact that I'm tipsy, its a burn people, an idiot burn at that. Fortunately it only hurt for a day and has pretty much already gone. Ay yi yi. The benefit of having so many children is you always leave the house prepared for just about anything.

I can't stop crying....

Okay I am at work and keep tearing up.... its the silliest thing. Sydney's blood tests came back beautiful just like her. We get to take her off of caffeine and put her onto rice cereal. The silliest thing in the world and yet I feel like my heart will burst with pride and happiness.

Of course I need to celebrate so I am off in search of a high chair and will pick up the rice cereal on my way home :)

Yippeee

What more can I say!

Happy Easter

Seriously people where is the time going. How was it Easter already. I know I'm busy when I'm at home but my goodness I can't believe how the days and weeks are just flying. The girls are doing so well each individually as well as us as a family. I could not be happier and the memories of the last months of last year seem distant and hard to remember. Here are our gorgeous girlies...

Thanks for the super cute outfits Nana!

Sydney was 7 months old on Monday

Happy St Patrick's Day

Okay so I couldn't get all three girls together in the same direction so here's the delicious Sydney showing off her new chubby cheeks.

Biggest Fan

Savannah and Cary had their first Father\Daughter dance last Friday and we went to Johnny Rockets before hand for a school fundraiser.

So I know I'm my kids biggest fan but these pics are just too cute.

And yes that's Sydney in a poodle skirt too.

Okay so...

I cannot believe how much time has gone and how quickly since I last blogged. I thought I would do it when Sydney turned five months on 01/24/08 but alas something came up. Here's a pic anyway of Sydney at 5 months.

Then I thought, okay for sure I will do it on Valentine's day or when Sydney turned 6 months on 02/24/08 but that didn't happen either.

So now I realize that if I don't just bite the bullet and get on the opportunity is really never going to present itself.

So you may be asking yourself well what were you so busy with (although I know you moms aren't asking)? Well....lets see

Umm, well the adjustment to three kids at home has been a bit bigger than I had thought. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel outnumbered as in this house we have three parents, me, Cary and my Mom. Trust me I don't know how people do it without the extra hands and I now believe mothers who are single parents, providing they don't beat their dchildren deserve some kind of direct passage into heaven, sainthood or somekind of eternal hapiness.

Its more that I just feel so driven to give each of them as much quality time as possible. So that being said, for those of you interested in reading I will try and create an archive of events to catch you up to date....of course that is when I have bit more time, for now I'm off to watch Lipstick Jungle (my new little vice)